Let’s Talk Turkey.
An ungrateful and fairly judge-y post.
A turkey freshly sprung from the bushes and ready to attack. Image from Unsplash.
Turkeys are the spawn of the Satan. First off, they are heinous. I see nothing redeeming in their aesthetics and quite frankly their taste; It's always a hard pass from me on Thanksgiving as I'm quite unapologetically a sides-only kinda gal. AND, to make matters worse, they have THE. WORST. PERSONALITIES! I avoid them at all costs, so can they please stop cropping up, like, literally, everywhere?
Most of you locals are likely already aware, but bear with me so I can clue-in other folks.
So, Minneapolis has a bit of a wild-turkey problem.
I used to live in Northeast MPLS. I'd be on a walk with the dogs, and suddenly I'd be met by an unexpected and horrific scene. Twenty to 30 turkeys in someone’s front yard. In the driveway. On the stoop. Peering into the doorway and windows. Some awkwardly perched on the roof. (Do they fly, by the way? I’m confused!) Anyway, these neighborhood invasions seemingly occur annually and are always timed just a couple of weeks prior to Thanksgiving. I think we all know what’s going on here, so let’s just say it. Turkey Day Revenge.
Some further proof of this:
I've literally witnessed a GIANT turkey straight-up chase a full-grown man down the sidewalk on Johnson St NE. He was running and screaming like his life depended on it. The man. Not the turkey. Well, the turkey was running, too. In hot pursuit of this human. He had his wings spread and flapping about and his TURKEY WATTLE and SNOOD were swinging around sporadically… see diagram below. Anyway, it became very clear, very quickly, that we were also in danger, and the only logical thing to do was to flee Northeast.
Upsetting sounding, yet appropriate anatomical nomenclature for a turkey’s many dangly or overly textured features. I’m upset with the tassel —also known as a beard— as a body part, but I appreciate the relief provided by its more festive naming. Image from Vicvet.com.
So, we moved to Golden Valley. Not only to escape the turkeys — for other reasons as well… But we came to find that they're all over here, too! I hate it. Especially when a pack of them emerges from the woods when I’m out for an innocent mid-November jog.
ANYWAY. You all get it. I don’t like turkeys. They don't like us — or at least me.
So, outside of reality, where in my book there is no chance of saving a turkey’s reputation, can we designers and illustrators at least elevate the turkey? Is it possible for their image to be beautified?
I went on a mission to find out.
And below are some expressions of a turkey I can (mostly) get behind — cautiously, of course.
He just looks so happy. And while some of his ungainly qualities have been preserved, he’s got a smile on his face and he’s been rinsed clean of his overwhelming textures. Illustration by Rick Hyde.
The illustrated turkey on the left (by Bill Traylor) is so elegant and simplified, yet I must admit he still seems capable of murder. Other than wanting to trim the tassel and maintain a safe distance, I’m more okay with this than the real thing. The one on the right (by Barbara D.) confuses me emotionally. I am not sure why I am responding to it positively, but I am. Maybe because the snood is the only thing that seems physically flappable, thus an improvement overall?
I’ve run many a turkey trot in my day, but never one with a race bib designed this well. All of the “ugly” has been replaced with a highly geometric, almost stained-glass-like appearance. By Stephanie White.
And this one takes the cake … or the pie I should say. Yes, lots of textures. But flat, non-realistic, and beautifully handled. Even the wattle / snood / caruncle area is smoothed out, so I feel safe(r). Work by TRÜF.
To close, I just wanted to say that I’m so grateful we can make these important contributions to society — like making a creature as detestable as the turkey more visually palatable.
Next, can we all dedicate some time from our busy schedules to work on the rebrand of the ill-fated camel? Thanks! And a happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!
